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DISORDER  IN  THE  COURT

Word-for-word from court records . . .

Q:

Are you sexually active?

A:

No, I just lie there.

Q:

What is your date of birth?

A:

July Fifteenth

Q:

What year?

A:

Every year.

Q:

What gear were you in at the moment of impact?

A:

Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q:

This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A:

Yes.

Q:

And in what way does it affect your memory?

A:

I forget.

Q:

You forget.  Can you give us an example of something you’ve forgotten?

A:

. . . . . . . . . .

Q:

How old is your son, the one living with you?

A:

38 or 35, I can’t remember which.

Q:

How long has he lived with you?

A:

45 years.

Q:

What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A:

He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q:

And why did that upset you?

A:

My name is Susan.

Q:

Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A:

We both do.

Q:

Voodoo?

A:

We do.

Q:

You do?

A:

Yes, voodoo.

Q:

Now Doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Q:

The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?

Q:

Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q:

So the date of conception was August 8th?

A:

Yes.

Q:

And what were you doing at that time?

Q:

She had 3 children, right?

A:

Yes.

Q:

How many were boys?

A:

None.

Q:

Were there any girls?

Q:

How was your first marriage terminated?

A:

By death.

Q:

And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:

Can you describe the individual?

A:

He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q:

Was this a male, or a female?

Q:

Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A:

No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q:

Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A:

All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q:

Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A:

The autopsy started around 8:30pm.

Q:

And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A:

No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q:

Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

A:

Isn’t everyone?

Q:

Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A:

No.

Q:

Did you check for blood pressure?

A:

No.

Q:

Did you check for breathing?

A:

No.

Q:

So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A:

No.

Q:

How can you be sure, doctor?

A:

Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q:

But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A:

Yes, it is possible he could have been practising law somewhere.